"She's a predator posing as a house pet."
"I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll thank me. "
"Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns."
"We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra."
"Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me."
"It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. "
"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not."
---The all come from Tyler Durden in "Fight Club"
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back"-Henry Youngman
"I should start doing surgery, I mean look at all the success I've had with fish."-My Pa
"Where's Craig?"Julia Kvam
"Masturbating" Me and FEZ
(not paying attention to previous response)
"Is he comming!?" Julia
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh"-FEZ
"Your dad was in the mob?"-Cass
"Lee, according to the results, your dead inside."-Dani
"Stop to hide"-FEZ
"The world would be a much better place if it just blew up. That way I wouldn't have finals week to worry about"- D
"papa said 'son gonna drive me to drinkin' if you dont stop drivin' that hot rod lincoln"
"I HATE driving in the cities!"-6 year old Tyson
"My pants feel empty"-Craig
"I tripped on my piss"-Craig
"She's one of those virgins you wanna rip apart"-Matt Lange
"I smoke so you don't have too"-Me
"I have an excuse for smoking, its called addiction"-Me
"God he's a moron, no wait, God he's a less-on" Rob K.
"He's not a minor, he's native"-Kyle M talking about Scoots and his ID card
"Yeah I know, I hear it all the time. I've thought about quiting, but with my luck, the day I quit will be moments before a meteor falls into my mouth and chokes me to death."-Me
"You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow."-Jack Black
"I should take down someone who is strong, so Steven Seagal would be perfect - with his ridiculous Indian gear, ponytail and swagger. He's the best fighter in the world in his own mind, so I'll take him down two notches with my Anaconda Squeeze and Face Melter."-Jack Black
"I have some good news and bad news Mary. The bad news is that I have stop at registration. The good news is that I smell good."-Me
"I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll thank me. "
"Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns."
"We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra."
"Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me."
"It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car. "
"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not."
---The all come from Tyler Durden in "Fight Club"
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back"-Henry Youngman
"I should start doing surgery, I mean look at all the success I've had with fish."-My Pa
"Where's Craig?"Julia Kvam
"Masturbating" Me and FEZ
(not paying attention to previous response)
"Is he comming!?" Julia
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh"-FEZ
"Your dad was in the mob?"-Cass
"Lee, according to the results, your dead inside."-Dani
"Stop to hide"-FEZ
"The world would be a much better place if it just blew up. That way I wouldn't have finals week to worry about"- D
"papa said 'son gonna drive me to drinkin' if you dont stop drivin' that hot rod lincoln"
"I HATE driving in the cities!"-6 year old Tyson
"My pants feel empty"-Craig
"I tripped on my piss"-Craig
"She's one of those virgins you wanna rip apart"-Matt Lange
"I smoke so you don't have too"-Me
"I have an excuse for smoking, its called addiction"-Me
"God he's a moron, no wait, God he's a less-on" Rob K.
"He's not a minor, he's native"-Kyle M talking about Scoots and his ID card
"Yeah I know, I hear it all the time. I've thought about quiting, but with my luck, the day I quit will be moments before a meteor falls into my mouth and chokes me to death."-Me
"You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow."-Jack Black
"I should take down someone who is strong, so Steven Seagal would be perfect - with his ridiculous Indian gear, ponytail and swagger. He's the best fighter in the world in his own mind, so I'll take him down two notches with my Anaconda Squeeze and Face Melter."-Jack Black
"I have some good news and bad news Mary. The bad news is that I have stop at registration. The good news is that I smell good."-Me
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